happy like spider

lol, im so happy just now that i was grinning to myself in the toilet facing the mirror with a shaver in hand and almost shave my teeth off.

A race denied

tonight i have to give myself a pat on the shoulder for not succumbing to peer pressure.

the man who try to unclog the drain

this evening, i was accompanying my colleague down to buy dinner for everyone since everyone was doing ot. whilst he was withdrawing money, i notice this india man holding an umbrella busily using one free hand trying to dig out the domestic debris which is stuck in the drain. a crowd of curious ppl is also starting to form around him, then i realise the situation and was touched by the act of this unknown stranger. As it was raining heavily, the parade square was starting to flood to about 5cm and theres only 1 drain in the square. surrounding the squares are rows of shophouses which are oblivious to wats happening. this reminds me of the legend of Holland, which has low lying banks, so the people build walls surrounding them. and one day this teenager walk past and saw a stream of water shooting from a crack in the wall. he immediately put his finger into the hole and stayed there for quite a few days till a villager came by and get help. Morale of the story. always put others ahead before yourself.

lol

gosh. all the while i thought i was confused till the word self centered was entered into my bible today.

dilemma.

i have come to a road junction where i have to make a lifelong decision. should i continue design work or communications? design work there is web design, graphic design, animation and film. communications there is public relations, marketing, corp comm. in fact theres too much choices to make and too little motivation. as i can see the people around me, most of them are forced into making choices becos of the lack of money. becos of the stigma of remaining jobless for too long. nt everyone makes a choice they are happy about. its always the social pressure that make them do it and they just headlunge into it, regardless of their own satisfaction. imagine a little boy saying this to his father, daddy daddy i wan to be a policeman when i grow up. the dad reply, yes my dear boy, come i tuck u to bed. as the time goes by, the boy grows up and join the force. the parents attend the young man cadet graduation and happily takes a photo with him. Reality check. you’re in singapore. this is probably what they show in the movies. its nv gonna come true.

The above example of the little boy is fictional and has no real resemblance to anyone real life. this is how the media propanganda over the years has guided the perception of the boy to think being a policeman is cool. most stuff u saw on the tube and online is probably what they wan you to see and believe. stop believing. start experiencing.

500 days of summer.

unlucky dude, probably the most unexpected twist of events i ever seen. is that what reality was about? stand up dust off yourself and go off to another guy whom she see as ‘the one’ she’s going to marry? and oh you just know this is it just because he happen to share the same interest in the book shes reading?

‘if you dun like it, dun do it?’ i dun think so, making the sacrifice for the little smile i see at the end of the tunnel is totally worth it.

life

sometimes when im playing pc games at home, i often mentally visualise myself taking a step back from my current situation and think about it. what am i doing, what have i achieve. Nothing. im constantly bumming around, whereas most of my friends have already started working, or doing full time studies. im stuck in this rut ever since i started my part time degree course. i cant take on full time jobs becos of time constraints, nor freelance as my portfolio wasnt good enough.

going out again at night as usual~~

sleep walking

hoo.. my first sleep walking experience. i dunno how i remember most of the things ppl tend not to remember. this morning i had my first sleepwalking session, it was strange, i awoke from my dream, walk out of my room and went to ask mum a question. she was in the living room preparing for work. it was still vivid in my mind, i felt that i was so right, like it was my sub conscious taking control of me. i could still remember the question i ask was absolutely nonsense. then my mum ask me whether im dreaming issit, i say no, and continue ask the same question. then slowly, my mum question reverberate around in my mind, and my conscious state of mind which accompanied by my common sense start to take over. yes what the hell am i asking.

It was quite scary in fact, what if in my dream, i thought i could fly and then wake up in the middle of the night and proceed to do what i thought i can do without anyone stopping me?

dodge a cat and earn 9 lives

nothing much happen today, just remembered i swerve and dodge a cat the other day which suddenly dash across the road. hoo. damn heng. after that i notice ppl from the streets and bustop was looking at me, haha they must be thinking what a saint i am. played wii the other day at wilsons. hell of a fun; end up the next day my whole shoulder aching. so i went to check the price at qisahn.com, the price look pretty attractive at 268. hmm..

today during work time, make a trip down to nus with my colleague to exchange some faulty products with our customers. while i was there, i kept thinking, if only i can join that school, and be part of them. merry students trolling around, having lunch, some studying, with a bright future ahead of them. but i just dont have what it takes to be there, so end up like most lower end stream ppl, where pte school await us.

wanted to go chek java this sat to join the coastal clean up organise by oscar from nafa, but sadly the ppl around me doesnt have the heart for the environment and goin alone seems stupid, as i dunno anyone there.

where is the patience

sometimes i just wish they had more patience in guiding me before flaring up..