lol

gosh. all the while i thought i was confused till the word self centered was entered into my bible today.

dilemma.

i have come to a road junction where i have to make a lifelong decision. should i continue design work or communications? design work there is web design, graphic design, animation and film. communications there is public relations, marketing, corp comm. in fact theres too much choices to make and too little motivation. as i can see the people around me, most of them are forced into making choices becos of the lack of money. becos of the stigma of remaining jobless for too long. nt everyone makes a choice they are happy about. its always the social pressure that make them do it and they just headlunge into it, regardless of their own satisfaction. imagine a little boy saying this to his father, daddy daddy i wan to be a policeman when i grow up. the dad reply, yes my dear boy, come i tuck u to bed. as the time goes by, the boy grows up and join the force. the parents attend the young man cadet graduation and happily takes a photo with him. Reality check. you’re in singapore. this is probably what they show in the movies. its nv gonna come true.

The above example of the little boy is fictional and has no real resemblance to anyone real life. this is how the media propanganda over the years has guided the perception of the boy to think being a policeman is cool. most stuff u saw on the tube and online is probably what they wan you to see and believe. stop believing. start experiencing.

500 days of summer.

unlucky dude, probably the most unexpected twist of events i ever seen. is that what reality was about? stand up dust off yourself and go off to another guy whom she see as ‘the one’ she’s going to marry? and oh you just know this is it just because he happen to share the same interest in the book shes reading?

‘if you dun like it, dun do it?’ i dun think so, making the sacrifice for the little smile i see at the end of the tunnel is totally worth it.

life

sometimes when im playing pc games at home, i often mentally visualise myself taking a step back from my current situation and think about it. what am i doing, what have i achieve. Nothing. im constantly bumming around, whereas most of my friends have already started working, or doing full time studies. im stuck in this rut ever since i started my part time degree course. i cant take on full time jobs becos of time constraints, nor freelance as my portfolio wasnt good enough.

going out again at night as usual~~

sleep walking

hoo.. my first sleep walking experience. i dunno how i remember most of the things ppl tend not to remember. this morning i had my first sleepwalking session, it was strange, i awoke from my dream, walk out of my room and went to ask mum a question. she was in the living room preparing for work. it was still vivid in my mind, i felt that i was so right, like it was my sub conscious taking control of me. i could still remember the question i ask was absolutely nonsense. then my mum ask me whether im dreaming issit, i say no, and continue ask the same question. then slowly, my mum question reverberate around in my mind, and my conscious state of mind which accompanied by my common sense start to take over. yes what the hell am i asking.

It was quite scary in fact, what if in my dream, i thought i could fly and then wake up in the middle of the night and proceed to do what i thought i can do without anyone stopping me?

dodge a cat and earn 9 lives

nothing much happen today, just remembered i swerve and dodge a cat the other day which suddenly dash across the road. hoo. damn heng. after that i notice ppl from the streets and bustop was looking at me, haha they must be thinking what a saint i am. played wii the other day at wilsons. hell of a fun; end up the next day my whole shoulder aching. so i went to check the price at qisahn.com, the price look pretty attractive at 268. hmm..

today during work time, make a trip down to nus with my colleague to exchange some faulty products with our customers. while i was there, i kept thinking, if only i can join that school, and be part of them. merry students trolling around, having lunch, some studying, with a bright future ahead of them. but i just dont have what it takes to be there, so end up like most lower end stream ppl, where pte school await us.

wanted to go chek java this sat to join the coastal clean up organise by oscar from nafa, but sadly the ppl around me doesnt have the heart for the environment and goin alone seems stupid, as i dunno anyone there.

where is the patience

sometimes i just wish they had more patience in guiding me before flaring up..

Protected: to hell with it

This post is password protected. To view it please enter your password below:

Password:

outlook in 3 hours

whos the man now. i manage to figure out the outlook calendar in one morning, before my boss start to scold me. hoo. first day of work. its strenuous though, cos im doing everything right from a scratch, which wasnt even learn or related in school.

went to west coast park for this kite festival last sunday. it was great. i think i goin to relive my unfinish childhood dream of making my own kite soon.

conflict sat

yesterday at timbre substation, it start off real bad. even though i feel tat theres not a need to write out these frustration, but sometimes when misunderstanding is vent on me for no reason, i have to let off some steam, before i fuck my friends up badly. it started with me asking wheres timbre, they told me its near some museum, beside ROM. on my way there via a cab, they told me to just inform the cab driver to go timbre, like as if the cab driver knows whats tat, so i asked the driver, as expected, the poor cab driver doesnt have a clue. half way through the trip, one of my friend msg me to meet him first, saying he’s having a tummyache at ps, so i went over to meet him. then so coincidentally, another friend of mine ask me where i was, and pleaded me to wait for her at ps, becos she also dunno how to go there. after she reach, we took a cab together, with my guyfriend sitting at the front, and assuming he knows how to go, becos he been there once, whereas my female friend and me have nv been there before. in the end when we alight at ROM as suggested by the earlier friends who been there, we realised it was a mistake. theres no timbre in sight, and we’re lost in a secluded area somewhere behind parkmall. no choice, i took out my phone and check my gps, if only i have done that earlier instead of listening to some bullshit instruction of going to some museum or rom. so i found out its at armenian st. we try waiting for a cab, but no luck, so we walk through parkmall and found a taxi stand on the other side. they call me again, asking us where we are, i ask them back, was the place at armenian st. they say yes. oh how great.. or was this an amazing race challenge where we suppose to find out things ourselve? the first thing when we reach there. one of them ‘knowing the fact that the tummyache guy had been timbre before’ ask me with a black face, ‘coming to timbre is so hard issit?’ before i could reply, he walk off towards our table. when we seat down, i said hello to them in a jovial manner, they ignored me, and then i try to start a conversation with one of my female friends who had reach earlier, the first thing she say to me is, ‘im so angry with you.’ with a serious look. that was the first time i have heard such a comment from her. i was quite piss off by then, as i didnt know what fault have i done. i was just tempted to walk off from there, or shout at them. but i tell myself to relax, calm down. things doesnt have to end this way. you can choose it to be a goody two shoes and smile back, or just keep silent. well, i decided to order a pizza to share with everyone. when the pizza came, in a bid to lighten the mood, i guess i have to make the first move, and so i help to serve pizza to everyone. and everything goes back to normal again. sometimes, im just disappointed that my friends can be so easily brainwash by words said by other ppl.

but in the end we did have fun. i was surprise there was even a proposal made on the stage that night. we had a few drinks, the tummache friend vomit halfway while playing drinking games with us. then after we went china one. nt bad. mostly caucasians. had a great conversation with my female friend who was in the same boat with me earlier on. got to know alot of stuff like why ppl dun upload their bf/gf pics or put their status single.