is it right?

my uncle just pass away a few days ago, and i really wonder if i could have make the trip down at 11am rather than just fucking sleep at home. my mum called me at 11 and told me the doctor just pass the judgement that he’s left with 1hr before he’s going to pass away. i couldnt make up my mind, at the same time i dunno how am i going to handle the situation if i was really there seeing his last moments. i was half awake, and he wasnt a so close uncle, but my parents used to tell me he used to buy me presents when i was a toddler. i thought i could take another 40 winks before changing and get there, but the next thing i knew, my dad called me and told me theres no need to go down already, he already pass away, and said that its going to be a lifetime of regret for me. i felt abit of sadness and regret, but he really wasnt close to me all these years. or was it? putting myself in my uncle shoes, i would have wanted to see all my relatives before me when i pass on right.. i nv thought of that until when i was at the funeral just now. i could have fulfilled his last wish…

wakey wakey!

i have been soliciting http://www.animecrazy.net/ ever since im out of work. god damn addiction, but its too good to give up. it started ever since i was working in rhema media in search of better anime characters expressions. time to wake up damnit.

siao liao la..

looking for a study companion. anyone?

lol

f man, why do i always do retarded things which i will only feel embarrassed later.. wtf am i doin.haa

level up

maybe im drunk.. but after trying to patch up and fail, the next morning on the way home i felt tat relationship is just like slowly savouring the taste of curry puff in my mouth with green tea, and after it worn off, ditching me is normal for you. i’m glad u taught me this lesson. thanks bernice, we still can be friends.

happy like spider

lol, im so happy just now that i was grinning to myself in the toilet facing the mirror with a shaver in hand and almost shave my teeth off.

A race denied

tonight i have to give myself a pat on the shoulder for not succumbing to peer pressure.

the man who try to unclog the drain

this evening, i was accompanying my colleague down to buy dinner for everyone since everyone was doing ot. whilst he was withdrawing money, i notice this india man holding an umbrella busily using one free hand trying to dig out the domestic debris which is stuck in the drain. a crowd of curious ppl is also starting to form around him, then i realise the situation and was touched by the act of this unknown stranger. As it was raining heavily, the parade square was starting to flood to about 5cm and theres only 1 drain in the square. surrounding the squares are rows of shophouses which are oblivious to wats happening. this reminds me of the legend of Holland, which has low lying banks, so the people build walls surrounding them. and one day this teenager walk past and saw a stream of water shooting from a crack in the wall. he immediately put his finger into the hole and stayed there for quite a few days till a villager came by and get help. Morale of the story. always put others ahead before yourself.

lol

gosh. all the while i thought i was confused till the word self centered was entered into my bible today.

dilemma.

i have come to a road junction where i have to make a lifelong decision. should i continue design work or communications? design work there is web design, graphic design, animation and film. communications there is public relations, marketing, corp comm. in fact theres too much choices to make and too little motivation. as i can see the people around me, most of them are forced into making choices becos of the lack of money. becos of the stigma of remaining jobless for too long. nt everyone makes a choice they are happy about. its always the social pressure that make them do it and they just headlunge into it, regardless of their own satisfaction. imagine a little boy saying this to his father, daddy daddy i wan to be a policeman when i grow up. the dad reply, yes my dear boy, come i tuck u to bed. as the time goes by, the boy grows up and join the force. the parents attend the young man cadet graduation and happily takes a photo with him. Reality check. you’re in singapore. this is probably what they show in the movies. its nv gonna come true.

The above example of the little boy is fictional and has no real resemblance to anyone real life. this is how the media propanganda over the years has guided the perception of the boy to think being a policeman is cool. most stuff u saw on the tube and online is probably what they wan you to see and believe. stop believing. start experiencing.